Managing Holiday Anxiety: Tips for People-Pleasers Who Overthink Everything

The holiday season is supposed to feel magical, right? but if you’re someone who overthinks and tries to keep everyone happy—it can bring a unique kind of stress and overwhelm. Between juggling plans, worrying about how others feel, and trying to meet sky-high expectations, the holidays can feel less like a Hallmark movie and more like a marathon of emotional gymnastics.

Here’s the good news: it doesn’t have to be like this. With a bit of self-awareness and some practical tips, you can reduce stress, manage expectations, and cope with holiday anxiety in a way that actually lets you enjoy the season.

Why Holidays Trigger Overthinking

For people-pleasers and overthinkers, the holidays can amplify underlying fears and insecurities:

“Did I get them the right gift?”
“Will they be upset if I say no to their invitation?”
“What if I don’t know what to say and it gets awkward?”

Holidays often come with heightened expectations, social pressures, and family dynamics that can trigger old wounds or anxieties. If you have people-pleasing tendencies, the pressure to make everything Instagram perfect can leave you drained. If you’re nodding along, you’re not alone—it’s exhausting trying to keep the peace and please everyone.

Signs You’re Experiencing Holiday Anxiety

Wondering if holiday anxiety is sneaking up on you? Look out for these signs:

Overthinking every decision, from gifts to outfits.
Feeling guilty (like, ugh level guilty) for setting boundaries or saying no.
Worrying way too much about how people see you.
Struggling to enjoy the moment because you’re busy replaying past interactions.
Feeling physically tense, exhausted, or emotionally on edge.

6 Tips to Reduce Holiday Stress and Manage Overthinking

If overthinking and people-pleasing are your holiday default settings, here are six ways to take the pressure off and find some calm:

1. Set Boundaries Early

Decide what’s manageable for you and communicate your limits with kindness:

“I’d love to come, but I can only stay for an hour.”
“I’m keeping gifts simple this year—just a little something from the heart.”

2. Stop Trying to Read Minds

Overthinkers often assume they know what others are thinking, especially when it comes to disappointment or criticism. Remind yourself:

You’re not a mind reader.
Most people aren’t analysing your actions as much as you think.
If someone is upset, it’s okay—they’ll survive, and so will you.

3. Focus on Connection, Not Perfection

The holidays aren’t about the perfect gift or the flawless dinner party—they’re about connecting with the people you care about. Shift your focus from doing things right to simply being present:

Laughing over silly memories.
Sharing heartfelt conversations.
Simply enjoying time with loved ones.

4. Plan Breaks for Yourself

You can’t pour from an empty cup. Schedule moments to decompress:

Take a walk outside to clear your head.
Listen to your favourite music or podcast while wrapping gifts.
Spend an evening recharging with a cosy movie or book.

5. Challenge Negative Thoughts

When overthinking creeps in, try this:

Write down the worry: “What if my gift isn’t good enough?”
Counter it with logic: “It’s the thought that counts, and they’ll appreciate the effort I made.”
Replace it with a positive mantra: “I’m enough, just as I am.”

6. Lean on Your Support System

You don’t have to navigate holiday anxiety alone. Reach out to trusted friends or family members who understand you. Sometimes venting out loud or hearing, “I totally get it,” makes a huge difference.

Embrace an Imperfect Holiday

Here’s the truth: no holiday season is ever perfect. There will be moments that don’t go as planned, and that’s okay. By prioritising your mental well-being and practising self-compassion, you can create a season that feels more authentic and less overwhelming.

No holiday season is perfect—and that’s okay. By reducing stress, managing expectations, and coping with anxieties in healthy ways, you can create a holiday experience that feels authentic, joyful, and less overwhelming.